Marking My Spot

If men were like buses, how do you catch one? A more impt question is how do you catch the right one?

Simple: You take only the bus that's headed the RIGHT direction.

First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. Second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis
b4 its made on an emotional one.

What about love? "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jer 17:9). The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It doesn't consider things rationally and intelligently - it just loves to love! Above all else guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life Prov 4:23

1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus. Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Acctability is an impt factor. You have a similar spiritual walk. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life isues. You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom Opposites attract, like minded folks fare better together. Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time. Remember women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he is not going your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.

2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord (Prov 18:22)
Note: who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the begining of time, God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together. In God's perfect design the man is the one who recognizes the mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You don't have to help a guy out bec he's shy. Men will do whatever they have to get what they TRULY want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of
great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive in gaining your affections take it as a sign that he is not interested. Many a woman's mother has sugested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if u stop to think abt it: "We love Him bec he first loved us" 1 John 4:19 The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel bec of u he is getting blessed- big time! Until then, take the ultimate chill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man- your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time is just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourdself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing he relationship. You may have the inkling he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of your relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to fllow. They should love us first. And they shld lead the relationship.

3. The man in your life shld not desire to move in your house but in your heart. A man who prepares your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for u.

4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!

5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who bec of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.

6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present situation.

7. Check out the patterns in his life. Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? broken relationships? problems in making commitments? including the job market? mood swings? Is a problem alway's somebody else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shrink it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store but with wear some being to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made with the right stuff.

8. Does this man give a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until; he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. Is your guy guided by a sense of purpose and destiny or does he allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person- and you'll miserable too if YOU know where you want to go in Life. A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader, and assistant bec he wants you both to make it! A man can not be supportive of your achievements bec he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or felling of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates with you. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be a priest and a leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.

9. Complimentarily. Do your talents and gifts compliment his? Do his gifts compliment yours? What about your temperaments? Do u see the 2 of you to be an effective teamcapable of bringing blessing to the lives around you? Do your futures mesh? Can u coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way? This is why knowing your purpose is very impt. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. Is this relationship expensive spirituallyy, emotionally or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life shld consider u a rare find priceless jwel -m bec of u he is getting ready to get blessed big time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable, or that you have to work for love, is too expensive! God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with man of your dreams. The man in your life shld make rich deposits into your heart and spirit not withdrawals.

10. Does he have a healthy love and accptance of himself. Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his Savior or Teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he shld be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ. If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to Christianism, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul who promises you eternmal love is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit when the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive.So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the ex. for all the others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man? Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for the hand that they desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that anything worth having, costs! And no one gets a ride in this life for free.