Marking My Spot

Gee, it's already past mid-July and I'm still struggling for something good to blog about. Sure I want my blog to always be cheerful but I think sometimes, I just have to release toxic- but not entirely toxic though...

Is it just me or is there really a huge pressure here? It's my second account's batch 4, and the first client specific class I'm handling for them. I was initially excited. But eventhough I studied so hard, which was even during my 1-week vacation, I still feel like I'm going to make a disaster out of this class. Have you ever felt so incompetent? I feel like I'm not teaching them enough. I feel like I have no excuse of not knowing simple answers to their questions. I'm the teacher. I'm supposed to know that. I even lost my momentum as of the second day because I had to give up my room for 2 hours until Thursday- which ruined my lesson plan. Worse, I even heard one of my students say that she wishes to go back to her old team upon learning what their exact job responsibilities are. Ngarr! I absolutely hated that statement. I wish she didn't have to say that infront of me. Naku kung hindi lang ako mabait... But then I felt like it's also my fault. I could've made the class more interesting. I feel like it's my job to make them interested and excited with their new account.

Good thing though that I'm getting help from the support staff - thank God! One of them did a pep talk with my class last week. I wasn't there then so I didn't know what he said exactly but whatever it is, it improved their aura. They became a little bit more hardworking. Ok, good. But I'm still not feeling all the way better. I'm already anticipating a low score with my course evaluation.

Yeah, negative vibes alright. But I can't help it! :o(

And then there's my friend Kookie, who has already resigned from the company. And she just told me that she's flying to Sri Lanka and will get a job at Dubai after, and that she might stay there for good. Oh great. So yesterday, we had dinner at Kitchen, Greenbelt. It might be our last dinner together before she leaves. Sigh. I wish I had spent more time with her.

Ayan. Ayan ang mga happening sa buhay ko ngayon. So ako din may drama. Pero minsan lang naman. Pagbigyan nyo na...