Sponge Mode

I took the usual walk with my good buddies this morning. One was "pa-demure", trying to be reserved but you know he's all excited inside. The other one I didn't have to see, but I'm sure was smiling like a fool the entire night (the weekend aftershock). I tried catching him via instant messenger:

Me: "Stop smiling! :-p"
Him: "I can't! Hahaha"

They were both talking about how wonderful their weekend went with their special someones. And I happily listen to their stories, setting aside worries that I might suffer from "too much information". At one point in time we're all kilig. The next time we're all goofy. Then we're back to kilig again. You know, the works.

Then there were two of us left, as one hugged goodbye and headed to his place. We continued the chat of course. I told him that I'm really happy for them and what's been going on in their lives. I've never seen them so hyper and all bubbly inside. Then he asked if I would be bumping my head against a wall anytime soon. I said, "No. But I'll probably cringe when I get home. I'm so prone to delayed reactions so we'll see. Haha!" And we both laughed.

I continued, "I'm on sponge mode today. And I will be for the coming weeks or so... but I have to be honest with you. There might come a time when you guys will start talking about it again, and it will suddenly be depressing to me. I'll start asking why I can't have something or someone like that. That's when I'll bump my head against a wall. But I don't see it coming anytime soon. My selfless mode is up right now."

I love thinking that if it doesn't happen to me, at least it happens to others. So I gladly take in what they want to blurt out, and contain myself with their good vibes. Then I just have to deal with feeling a bit envious later on when I'm far from them. I'll start to think about who I've been asking for; every inch of his face. Then I'll most probably remember how people have been pressuring me to get someone of my own. It will either upset me, or just make me not give a damn.

But what do I do the next time I'm caught with my two friends talking about the same thing, over and over again?

I'll be here for them. It's what I'm good at.

:-)